Chunky Chewies.

I'm torn... torn between calling these little darlings (and little is not a descriptor of their caloric presence) Chunky Chewies... which has a certain sickening sound to it, an onomatopoetic harbinger of how your stomach will feel after eating them, or BacoMallow Blast! which gives a slight indication of how oddly giddy I felt making them...

point being, there's this website. It's called This is why you're fat. And it has had a great impact on my life recently. The following is a recipe fpr the first of two creations (the second will come to life for an event, presumably next weekend) I'll be submitting to this awe-inspiring web site. I hope you enjoy.

Take a bit less than 1 pound of thick sliced, peppered bacon. Quarter the slices and bake at 350 degrees F on a cooling rack placed over an aluminum foil lined baking sheet (I don't normally employ aluminum foil solely to ease clean up, but I made an exception here, and I think you should too... just wait). As you flip the bacon, make sure to add extra pepper... pepper all over...

Cook them till they're about 70% of the way to crispy, crispy goodness...

meanwhile, get a small bowl and mix 1/4 cup Maple Syrup, 1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar and 1/2 cup brown sugar... stir vigorously.

Now. Coat those babies with Maple/Balsamic goodness. Brush some on one side, put back in oven for 5 minutes, pull out, flip over, coat other side, repeat till out of syrup!

Right about now the kitchen smells like God really does love Man.


You'll need to let them cool just a tidge, while you melt about a cup of chocolate in a double boiler. Once the syrup on the bacon has cooled enough to be stickily solid and not so liquid that it slides around, you dip each piece of bacon in the melted chocolate.

While the chocolate dries - you make Marshmallows!!! Instead of adding vanilla extract, I used a bit more maple syrup to flavor the marshmallows :)

I also may have left it mixing in the Kitchen-Aid too long... I think you're suppose to be able to pour it out at this stage...
P.S. Homemade marshmallow creme is excessively sticky. Coat the entire kitchen in scalding hot water before trying to work with it.



P.P.S. When trying to scrape the last bits of marshmallow out... don't drop your mixing bowl upside down on the floor.

P.P.P.S. If you do drop your mixing bowl upside down on the floor don't mention it to your husband who will mock you and photograph the result.

Now chop up all the chocolate covered, candied bacon, into little pieces...

and sprinkle it over one half of the marshmallow, which you've flattened out onto a well powdered-sugared baking sheet. (I originally planned on using sugar crystals instead of powdered, for that Peep look... but somewhere around trying to wrangle the marshmallow out of the mixing bowl I forgot about that great intention and just started throwing powdered sugar at everything in sight.)


Then layer the second half of the marshmallow on top.

Cover the top layer of marshmallow with sugar to prevent sticking, then wrap it up and let sit for about 12 hours. Then... cut.


I re-coated my knife in powdered sugar between each row.


Look at the cute little, bitty, bacon, peeking out of the marshmallow... who's a cute bacon??? Who's a cute little, bitty, bacon??? Yes you are!!!

Whoops...

as you cut the squares, you typically dust the edges in powdered sugar to keep them from sticking to everything, as well as themselves. I chose to dust one side of each marshmallow with cocoa powder... I could say I did it because it tempers the sweetness of the marshmallow... but really it's because I can't leave anything well enough alone.

You grab one of this kiddos and tear the thing apart...


and find chocolate covered, candied, peppered bacon inside. It warms my heart.

P.P.P.P.S. Photo and patience credits to D, who graciously cut off whatever the heck he was doing and ran over with his Macro-Happy new camera every time I yelled - "Photo... photo, I need a photo... now, photo!!!" That's Love.