Sunday, December 30, 2007

Quote of the This Week.

"Do you always sit in the window seat on the wing side?"


20-something girl behind me on the airplane, talking to the 20-something man who was explaining how the wings change to slow the aircraft after landing.

Quote of the Last Week.

"But the cactus wants the brownie."

D, trying to explain why he should be allowed to throw food out the car window on the way through the desert to the airport.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Push, Plow and Tow.

This is where Selma Lee was located this afternoon. I'd been having a small issues with getting her started... so when D wanted Josey to get parked in the garage, we put her in neutral and rolled her down the incline of our driveway and tried to get her turned and parked perpendicular... except the momentum only get us mostly there, not quite.

While we're gone for over a week, holiday making in the Midwest, we wanted my dearest Selma in the garage... except there was still that small detail of her not wanting to start. Plus - one of the doors must have been a tidge ajar, because the battery had warn down.

First - we set up jumper cables and tried to get her started. We eventually gave up.

We then attached a tow rope on the hitching points under the front bumpers of both Selma and Josey and Josey slowly rolled backwards towing Selma as far up the drive as we could, while still allowing enough room for Josey to get free. That landed Selma mostly on the paved portion at the bottom of the above photo.

Josey then drove back around to the other side, and very slowly butted up against Selma. Due to their slightly different profiles - Josey's rear bumper slide up on top of Selma's, compressing her back suspension, and making contact with the plastic back light covers, partially breaking the mounting on one and sliding it back into the trunk - but it all worked none the less - and Selma got back up half way into the garage.

At that point - she was half way on level ground in the garage, and half way sloped downhill, so D backed Josey off of Selma Lee, the back end un-compressed, and we used our own force to push her the remaining way into the garage, to prevent the compression angle getting out of control if we'd pushed her all the way into the garage with Josey.


The slant of the driveway is too step to have pushed her up into the garage by ourselves - which is why we employed Josey. Selma weighs in right under two tones, and as we found out with Chad's car last weekend, when we needed to push his '82 300D about six inches farther up the driveway so his engine block heater could reach our pathetic attempts as creating an extension cord by connecting three surge protectors end to end, two tonnes on a slant needs a darn lot of force to move.


Good times.


Tomorrow, I install my own block heater, as well as do a bit of other work, so when we return she'll be a generally happier car.

I'd just like to extend a particularly strong Thank You to D for being a willing accomplice and particularly excellent and careful in the execution of said activities. It's hard to be delicate when driving an SUV, but he was.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The 20% List.

The following is a list of things that, if you do them, you pretty much need to tip 20%, if not a bit more.* Most servers are more than happy to humor you, but they don't expect to do it for 15%.

*Unless your server is rude - if your server is rude, 8-10% is always appropriate. Less then that and she's essentially paying taxes on a tip you never gave her - meaning she just paid the IRS for the privilege of serving you... doesn't sound like fun does it???



The 20% List

-> Allowing your child to smash Cheerios into every square inch of floor space beneath your table.

-> Asking absolutely ANY question about your server's personal life, or life history.

-> Telling your server she must be an actress, then insisting she's not Shakespeare Material, but continuing to refer to her as Cleopatra, without somehow realizing that Shakespeare wrote a Cleopatra.

-> Telling your server she reminds you of your best friend's, child's, teacher's, husband's, chiropractor's, third cousin twice removed, that you don't necessarily remember meeting, but isn't it just uncanny.

-> Asking for a specific server's section, by name.

-> Leaving your business card. (Like I'm going to pay a standard % to a Realtor who won't pay one to me).

-> Making your server an outside business offer. (You think I'm going to work for you, if this is what you consider appropriate compensation???)

-> Hand writing a Thank You note on your receipt. (A 20% tip is an adequate Thank You, I can't cash your note at the bank for that extra 5% you should have left).

-> Asking your server not to mention when you come in with your wife, that you were at the restaurant that night (with a different woman).

-> Leaving a whole stack of pens that advertise your business, but taking the one your server gave you to sign your credit card slip with.

-> Asking your server to recount the money you left to pay your bill because you're too drunk to do it yourself.

-> Continuing to sit in a restaurant, after every other customer has left, and you've already finished your meal, paid, and determined a new law of quantum physics via repeatedly refolding your copy of the credit card slip.

-> Sending your server to the kitchen to find out whether or not the oil used in each and every available salad dressing is hydrogenated, or not. Then commenting on how you'll have to tell you friend that, oh and can you have the fried potato chips with your sandwich.

-> Giving your server your single son's phone number.

-> Expressing your political views before looking up at your server expectantly. (If it shouldn't be discussed in polite conversation, your server deserves 20% to discuss it with you).

-> Leaving your server a religious pamphlet. (10% will not convert me you cheap piles of... sorry... they're always the worst tippers... those people with the little religious comic books!!!)

-> I should really stop this...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A little chat.

I had a pretty darn productive day - there were crystal views of the snow wrapped San Francisco Peaks as I returned from some errands, and I was in a great mood to go work at The Wine Bar and hit the gym.

The night started steady to slow - which was a good sign - a steady to slow night means I leave around 8:45 allowing all the time I need at the gym before it closes at 11pm.

I didn't make it to the gym tonight - I had a table of 6 parked on their tushes till 10:15 and to add insult to injury they only tipped 12%.


So let's have a quick discussion about tipping. Unlike what Mr. Pink says in Reservoir Dogs, servers really don't get paid by their restaurant to serve you - they pretty much only make tips. With the exception of California, Oregon, and a few others - servers make between $2.03 and $3.48 per hour. Technically, a restaurant has to make up the difference if your tips don't add up to minimum wage... technically. And servers pay tax on their tips, maybe not all of them, but if your reported tips are regularly under 8% of your total sales (and the restaurant is required to report average sales to the IRS) the IRS will come after you. All tips put on a credit card are automatically reported. If everyone pays me with a credit card one night, then all of my tips get reported and all my tips get taxed.

Servers don't rely on tips because they're used to getting them, they rely on tips because they'd be working a different job otherwise (nobody who's competent enough to serve well would work for minimum wage.. do you really want the sort of person who would work for minimum wage serving your food???).


When you go to tip a server most people Tip on Total. They base their tip almost entirely on a calculated percentage of their total bill.

But it's also important to Tip on Time. If you sit around talking for 2 hours and only ring up $15 worth of purchases - you are not leaving your server a good tip if you leave her $3. Yes - it's 20%... but in the mean time, she's still spent two hours refilling your water, and keeping an eye on you, just because you don't order a lot, doesn't mean she doesn't put in just as much work to take care of you. (We'll not even discuss the table turn she's missing).

Thirdly - you should Tip on Tolerance. What has your server had to tolerate???
Now, if your server is rude and obnoxious, then she hasn't been very tolerant, and the imperative to tip her based on it, is low - however, if she's tolerated quite a bit with good cheer and humor then you should compensate her for the tolerance of your childish behavior that she has shown.

Tip on Total.
Tip on Time.
Tip on Tolerance.

Please people - please!!!


I don't care when people sit forever in my section, I don't care when they don't order wine and spend pittance compared to what they might have. I'm not saying you should feel guilty going to a restaurant if you're not going to be the biggest spender. But you don't order the second most expensive thing on the menu, sit around past closing, even though you've already finished your wine and dessert, make a point to not let anyone else pay the bill - and then tip 12%.

That earns you bad Karma... bad, bad Karma.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Top 5's.

I'm going to partially steal D's idea and create a Top 5 Things (that were new in 2007), and Top 5 Things (that were known and still loved).

New (In the order they came into my life, not importance) -

1) Double Entry Accounting
I know it's weird but I'm totally in love.

2) Plasma Cutting
Learned in Welding Class.

3) Selma Lee
Particularly the three days I spent driving her home.

4) My Blog/D's Blog
Nothing beats learning unknown things about the person you're closest to, via a most public forum.

5) My Business
Not so much the having of it, or the deciding to get it, but the knowing that I wanted it.


Old (In no order whatsoever)

1) My Reading List
Kept since I was 14, now new and improved via Shelfari.com

2) Snad and Felipe
No qualifications necessary.

3) Desert Skies
Especially as seen from our desk. Especially when there are storms.

4) Ice Water

5) Zion Canyon

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Misc.

The last bags will ship tomorrow afternoon. So I turn my attention to new and expanded features for the business for 2008.

My last anti-biotic will be downed tomorrow morning.

I'm adjusting and tweaking my training program to better reflect where I am (and where I want to be).


I'm not the only one fighting the good fight with an old diesel Mercedes :)


Special note - the prodigious white smoke behind and the extension cord running to the engine in front.

(Also note that while mine can also bellow large quantities of white smoke - my sun roof doesn't open - which makes Selma Lee jealous of Ms. BioBertha... someday I tell you... someday.)



I'm taking stock of what I hoped to have done this year - what of it I've done, what I haven't, and what is worth attempting again in the new year - compared to what has been left by the wayside by more recent prioritizing.

It's always sad to me when something I nominally still want to do doesn't make it on the list simply because of adjusted priorities. If I just don't want to do it anymore... that's somehow less of a loss - even if I would have enjoyed myself had I gotten around to it when my interest was still there.


Details.



Also, this evening I may have employed my headlamp and a good mirror to get a totally new view of the recently traumatized areas at the back of my mouth - and that may have been highly educational - I won't go into details, but Dang!!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Training.

I'd sort of been giving myself a hard time about not training this week. I know I'd been instructed not to, but I've been feeling good, and worrying that I was using The Teeth as an excuse (during the busy holiday season when I have bags to get out the door, and other concerns to occupy my time) to not make training a priority and fit it in, somewhere.

Then I went to work at the restaurant tonight.

I don't work weekends (being Friday and Saturday night), when I was hired they were explicitly off limits, so I'd never have to worry about weekend trips (which is a bit odd in the service industry, not working weekends). However, we're a small place, we have eight servers, total, not on each shift. And since I was going to be in town this weekend anyway - I thought I ought to pick up the shift for a fellow coworker who's family was going to be in town. Especially considering I was literally the Only person who wasn't already working, and therefore the Only way he could have the night off.

We were busy - but not that busy. I'm not one of those servers that runs around with their head cut off. I'm good. I glide about the room with a genial and competent air bringing contented appeasement to all the guests who grace my section.

But apparently even my gliding was a bit too strenuous (perhaps it was the jaw and muscle stress of all those gracious smiles and lighthearted laughs at my customer's bad jokes), by the end of the night there was a significant throbbing sensation in all pertinent places - and I realized, even if everything seemed fine, there was a real and valid reason why I wasn't suppose to be working out this week.


I guess I'll give it a few more days.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Numbers.

I seem to be using a lot of numbers recently. I tend to find them illustrative. So I'll follow that trend, the number of the day today, being 17.

Yesterday I swallowed 17 pills.

4 I do every day, vitamins, calcium, etc.

13 relate to The Teeth.

Anti-pain, anti-inflammatory, anti-biotics... my body seems to be particularly hateful at the moment. And this all seems very odd to me - someone who's never broken a bone, never been admitted to a hospital, never even been taken to an emergency room.

Besides one previous course of antibiotics, I've never been prescribed medication to treat any illness or ailment...

I have a pretty darn boring medical history - and I was sort of hoping to keep it that way... details. The thing that's really starting to get me down is the inability to keep to the training schedule. I was going to join D at yoga tonight - thought it'd be a good break in, so long as I didn't do any of the upside-down work. Only to find out he was going on a long run ahead of time, and there's nothing I Should be doing that I could occupy that time with. I miss the gym!!!

That's probably sacrilege to some - but I can't help it, it's right up there with tortilla chips, malts drank through straws, and anything that involves chewing with my molars...


oh wait - I forgot, I have broken a bone... I mean what mountain biker hasn't broken their collar bone, right??? Except I broke mine when I was in my first day of life... and it wasn't me, it was the doctors... guess I don't get mountain biking street cred for that one :(

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Traveling.

The last time I had a tooth removed (I won't go into gory details, sorry about that last post) D and I were traveling... extended traveling. We'd been living out of Josey for a bit over a month, and one night, after we'd pulling into camp in either Little or Big (I don't remember which) Cottonwood Canyon, right out side of Salt Lake City I started feeling some really bad pain.

The next morning we drove into town and got bagels (and a phone book) at an Einstein's and waited for 8:30 to roll around and dentist's receptionists to start answering their phones. Despite being told "we're not taking new patients" quite a few times - I found an appointment for 2pm and gave up. D, realizing what pain I was in, kept calling till he found somewhere that'd take me at 11 (what a precious boy!!!). Off we went to the other side of SLC.

The dentist took a look at the x-rays I'd brought with me (from an appointment right before we left... the dentist thought they'd need to come out some time in the future, so I asked for a copy of the x-rays and brought them along in a folder of important information). The SLC dentist suggested I get sme pain meds and have it taken care of "when I got home". I then explained that when I said traveling I meant Traveling and home was no longer a specific location (I believe it was my dad who would jokingly offer our license plate number when someone asked for our address). At that point we agreed to take the tooth out right then - and I was at the dentist's office for just about an hour.

1 hour. 3 hours, between trying to find a dentist and having it done. Maybe 14 hours between pain and procedure.

This time around, it took 19 days.

I think in the future - when I need to have any dental work done, I'm going to lie and say I'm traveling.


Meanwhile - I feel great today, there's really minimal pain, my biggest problem is finding stuff to eat when I take my antibiotics as they make me a lil nauseous. And my biggest complaint is that, somehow, I have absolutely no desire for the carton of ice cream in the freezer, which I specifically got to be good post op food...

ah well.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

.2 Ounces.

Well - I'm back from the oral surgeon and low and behold I still have my teeth.

They're sitting on a paper towel in front of me. I asked to keep them... though I'm not sure whether or not I'll put them under my pillow for the tooth fairy.

First off - teeth are really cool. And I love the sound they make when they knock against each other, or the table top - like the sound of a stone marble. What's not so cool is I keep tipping my head down to look at them, dripping blood infused saliva on the table... maybe I shouldn't have admitted that...

I was about to take a picture of my blood coated front teeth - looked pretty gruesome, but I thought I'd spare you that... primarily because I wouldn't have been able to avoid including some other part of my face in the picture - and most of you know the vehemence with which I avoid cameras.

Second off - (and the reason I asked to keep my teeth) I now weigh .2 ounces less. I asked the oral surgeon during my previous consultation and he couldn't tell me how much a tooth weighed - so I put one on the shipping scale... which didn't get me very far. Then I put all three on the scale and it grudgingly acknowledge a mere .2 ounces worth of tooth.


Third - he speculated that one of the reasons it was particularly difficult to remove my teeth last time, was that two of the three have three roots instead of two, which are easier to deal with (and let's admit it - these three roots aren't all grouped together in a polite cone shape, they're all ever so slightly flared, for maximum grip). One of them even has this thin, stubby tentacle of a fourth root. And while I know it made things slightly more difficult, I still want to applaud my teeth for their valiant effort at staying in place to do their job. I'm sorry little teeth, I didn't want to pull you, you made me!!!

I wish our camera took better macro shots - cause this little forth root is just adorable!!!

Monday, December 10, 2007

See Italy First

This picture is being posted to officially document the decision of one of my sisters (we'll call her J) and myself to take a trip to Italy in 2009. (The picture is of our fridge).

What is currently known of The Trip -
-It will take place in the calendar year 2009
-J and myself will be present
-Others may or may not be present
-It will involve vineyards, beaches, and not too many museums
-Bicycles are currently slated as primary transportation
-There will be shopping (even if that involves shopping in bike shorts)
-Rome will not be included*

*(I'm holding Rome for someone who will museum hop with me)


Now that it has officially been announced on The Blog - J will not be able to allot her precious Vacation Days to any other situation (the weddings of her eight closest friends included)... if they really want you there they can wait, J!!!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Heathen Tree.

In the spirit of all that was best about England in the mid to late nineteenth century(and there wasn't a lot), D returned from his run today with approximately three feet of (probably unlawful) National Forest Service conifer.

According to last year's precedent - it was decorated with a set of lights, the two ornaments we received, and several long strands of beer bottle caps on hemp twine (the majority of which are a festive red color, courtesy of The New Belgium Brewery). As seen below - completed.


And D said he didn't want a tree this year... who's the scrooge, really???

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Insta-quote.

D - "I'll give you all the seconds you want, however the laws of thermodynamics will not."

To all those who are under the delusion that he consistently makes mini-masterpieces for dinner every night - this is what I got handed this evening...

Do you see what I see???


Disc Breaks for my 29er (fam: a 29er is a superior style of mountain bike with larger wheels for greater ease when rolling over obstacles). She's a Soma Juice and has been named Pomegranate. I call her Pom or PomPom for short.

I'm considering making D a shirt that says PomSquad - for him to wear when he supports me at races.

Insta-quote.

M - Hey, be nice, I'm still in pain ya know.
D - I have two things to say about that. If you can be as annoying as you've been for the last fifteen minutes, you're either not in enough pain, or not medicated enough.

Very Nervous.


So - last week I went to the dentist due to some pain I was experiencing. Turns out I have a few wisdom teeth they'd like to get out of the way (one which is hurting, the other two cause they think it'll be fun)... which, as D determined two years ago when I had the first one removed, is a good thing (as you drop weight without losing muscle... at the time he told me it meant I had to hike faster, now I think it means I need to cycle faster :)

And mother - that's a joke - he doesn't actually expect me to get faster because I lost a couple of ounces worth of tooth - don't let dad worry it's another sign of coercion!!!


Anyway - today was going to be one, next Monday the two on the other side - so after some other confusion at the dentist's which left we waiting for over an hour through no fault of my own (I received a telephone call from my dentist's office asking me where I was, when I was sitting in their own waiting room... yeah - good times), they eventually had some difficultly getting my mouth appropriately numb.

I presume because of the confusion, I didn't have the dentist I saw before doing the actual extraction. I had this other guy... let's just say I'm not so fond of this Other Guy... he was not very sympathetic when I continued to feel pain despite some parts of my mouth already being numb... I tried to explain that the last two times I'd had dental work done they'd had to do several injections before everywhere became appropriately numb - he didn't seem to like being told things he thought he knew better than me...

in the end - he gave up and referred me to an oral surgeon. On the little card I'm suppose to give to the surgeon's office is a note that includes "very nervous". I am apparently one of those dental patients that is "very nervous" - despite the fact that I never felt Very Nervous and have previously had a tooth removed with no problem - I only wanted him to know about my previous experience... you'd think he'd appreciate my input. Apparently he took it to mean I was a bit hyped up and paranoid... seems to me I have a right to be when the local anesthesia doesn't actually block my pain!!!

This is the notecard - some of it got cut off when I scanned it - but i underlined the "very nervous" part...



He also just left me sitting there without explaining why I was being sent to an oral surgeon, what it meant, what he wanted done - or how it would effect the extraction of my other two wisdom teeth next week, which I would think is sort of an important consideration.

Details.


I think I'm more upset about being labeled Very Nervous than the fact that right now the right side of my mouth is both half numbed and in pain, at the same time.

Good job Dentist!!!

(I made sure Monday's appointment is with my Original Guy who is far superior in my mind to Other Guy.)

Monday, December 3, 2007

Insta-quote.

Idea stolen from The Blaze and Tink blog found at left... here's my quote of the day - pronounced by D about 45 seconds ago as he cooks me dinner (like usual) and I "work" and otherwise monopolize the computer (like usual)-

"Embittered is your default means of expression, when you're not thinking about it. Which - if you're 23, is not a good thing."


I think there might be some slight confusion in his mind between embittered and sarcastic...

details.