Not the pictures.

I had everything arranged. Timed out. Scheduled. There were layers when each thing needed to be done.

We left for Decorah, went to the meeting. Ran into Dave Nice and the boys he came in with from Nebraska - as well as meeting Julia (the single speeding female) - and all was enjoyable.

Got back to the hotel, finished the last items with my bike, showered, and had my mother hack off my hair. Braided it, held it at the top, cut. She just kept hacking and hacking... I have a lot of hair. I was Really high energy at this point - all excited and giggling from having less hair than I'd ever had in the entirety of my life - and had to slow myself down to get to sleep.

Woke - mother drove me to the start. I sat in the car till I saw Guitar Ted come round. We lined up. We started.

We started up a hill and I immediately noticed my saddle was too low. This was something that was scheduled to be adjusted before we left Des Moines for Decorah - so after it had been set I hadn't thought about it again. It was not on the list to be addressed at any later point, and since I'd sat in the car at the start I didn't mount up till we rolled out.

I thought I'd just take it easy up the hill - but my legs were in the wrong position - it was stressing my knees - so I hoped off on the side of the road to adjust. With two gloves on, it took me a minute to get my multi-tool out, I was impatient, I was being passed by everyone, so I pulled it up, tightened it, and hopped back on... it was the slightest hair too high. I tried to ride, it wasn't working. I hopped off and adjusted it again. Perfection.

But I was now behind everyone. No big deal.


There was a notation a little after 1 mile to "Continue" on the road you were on - I kept riding. I got to the second direction "Turn Right at Clay Hill Road". I hit Clay Hill Road a little farther on than the milage indicated, but just presumed my computer was a tidge off and noted the difference for future calculations. I turned Right. Not long after I was suppose to turn left at Spruce Ridge Road.

I could not find Spruce Ridge Road. I passed an Aspen, and/or Oak, and/or Evergreen. Several roads in a row that were all named after trees... plus there was a tree covered ridge to my left... I thought, it's down here somewhere. So I kept riding. I kept riding till I hit a Super-Walmart, was several miles OVER what was indicated - and I could be 100% sure that Spruce Ridge Road was NOT the next road.

Turned around. Rode back, paying attention, trying to find this road. Got back to the intersection, checked that I had in fact turned the right direction. And turned around again. I was going to ride back, and turn at whatever road was exactly where Spruce was suppose to be, Milage wise. I'm not sure what the logic was here... but that maybe the road sign on Clay Hill said one name, and the road turned into Spruce, and it was just an error on the cue-sheets (this is not so crazy as it sounds, there really was an error on the cue sheets later on). I knew I was on Clay Hill Road. I knew I had turned Right - Spruce had to be there somewhere.

I rode back, noting the exact milage I was suppose to go, and saw a guy in a pick-up turn into a parking lot. So I rode over to him and caught him as he was walking into work. I'm pretty sure I freaked him out. I asked if he knew where Spruce Ridge Road was. He looked at me like I was a demon from the underworld and said he'd never heard of a Spruce Ridge Road in his life.

Shit.

So then I noticed that someone else was driving the pick-up and had dropped him off. I rode over to the truck as it turned around and asked the driver if he knew where the road was. He said the same thing his son had - No f-ing clue.

At this point I turned around again. I rode back up from whence I'd come - and realized that there was, in fact, a reason for them to have said "Continue on Quarry Hill Road" - somewhere up in the twisting woods I had not continued on the road I was on - I had merged onto Whitetail Road.

Doh!!!

So I road back up Whitetail and got back on Quarry Hill. I rode till I ran into Clay Hill Road Again... slightly different location. And when I say slightly different - I mean entirely and completely different. They didn't even look like the same road. I really can't imagine how the first Clay Hill Road I was on could possibly connect with, or be the same road as the second Clay Hill Road I ran into. I Google Earthed it when I got home, to try to make sense of it all.

After my second turn Right on Clay Hill Road I quickly ran into Spruce Ridge Road. Right were it was suppose to be. I turned left and pulled out my camera to take a picture (see previous post). I was Really f-ing excited.

I noticed that while the cue cards said I was suppose to be at 2.something, my odometer actually said 11.something. I had lost myself to the tune of 9.5 miles. But I was really excited to be on Spruce and to know that even if I got wicked lost, it was possible for me to find my way again.

So I continued.

Really - I was feeling good. My clothes were perfectly arranged and I was staying pretty warm. My feet would get cold on fast downhills and I would have to wiggle them around to get them happy again, and my forehead and cheeks were getting wind burned and I had to pull things around and rearrange a little bit - but everything was in relatively good shape, considering the 30 degree temperatures and 15-20 mph winds.

I had managed to make myself eat some food and drink some water - which was difficult, because, while I was relatively warm I knew I wouldn't be if I stopped at all, for even a minute. The roads seemed great - from all the talk of water, there was only an occasional puddle or trickles across the road...

and then at one point, I made a turn, straight into the wind and my mind just shut down. It flashed "You're Done" and then stopped working all together. I turned around and rode a short distance to where I could get some cover from the wind and called my mother to come pick me up.

I think if I'd thought about it. Pulled out my iPod. Talked to myself. I might not have stopped, I might have kept going. But that speculation is superfluous, because my mind said NO - and that was it.

The coldest I was all day was when I was trying to tell my parents where I was and how they could reach me.

And afterwards it all seemed like such a wasted opportunity. I wasn't really cold. My legs didn't hurt. I was generally following my plans for food/water intake. So why did my mind tell me to stop???

Part of it was that I'd done the math. I wasn't riding fast enough to make it to the check point in time. Once you took off the miles I'd spent getting lost, there was just no way I could make it all up at the speed I was going. And with the wind as it was, I knew I couldn't pick up the pace enough to make up the difference.

I'd done the math a few hours after I'd "un-lost" myself, and somewhere, deep in my consciousness my mind had been dwelling on that fact - and about half and hour after I'd made that realization I stopped. It was like four nuerons in the back of my mind were conspiring against me. I'd told myself that even if I knew I couldn't make it to a check point, I should continue as long as I could regardless. But those little radical nuerons staged a coop - and it was over in five seconds when my mind said NO - and I made the call and after that, it was too late.


Really - in one respect I'm distressed, because I know my body could have taken me farther. But then my mind is part of my body and it said No - so really, while there was more I could have done, I didn't do it, and therefore, in many respects I couldn't have done it. And that's that.

I see it as an opportunity lost. I had this great opportunity, I put so many different pieces to gether to get me out there and to that very spot at that very moment, and even though I know I couldn't have made it to the first check-point in time, and my race was going to end pre-maturely, the lost opportunity is that it ended even a hair sooner than it might of - and it was such a great little adventure that I really am sorry I didn't get more of it.

The route was really beautiful. What I saw of it. Even with the evil grey clouds, the wind and the slight bit of weird hail/snow precip - it was beautiful. And I can only imagine how enjoyable the rest of the course they put together might have been. I'm sad I didn't get to see any more of the little world they assembled for us.


I'm also sad that no woman finished. Not like I can say that - because if I didn't finish I can't blame any of the other women for doing what I did. But I really thought this year would be the year. I didn't really think it would be me, but I thought it would be someone... and there's melancholy in that.


I guess the question that looms in all the competitors' minds after they process through their race is - what about next year???